Welcome to podcast #54. Today I want to address a topic that I find very difficult speaking about for many obvious reasons, as you will see. It is the most obvious and immediate danger for our young people in the Digital World today. Of course I am speaking about pornography and beyond that sexual addiction. As you know this podcast is intended for Christian Educators at home or in the classroom and we are dedicated to discovering the tools, methods and principles of discipleship-based Christian Education. So you might ask if this is a relevant topic for this medium. Unfortunately I believe that this problem is so serious that we have to begin to address it in every forum that deals with our youth. If you have been listening to our podcasts very long or have worked on our staff you will know that I am huge proponent of using technology for the purpose of extending the kingdom of God and Christian Education. If you listened to last week’s podcast you will note that we have seen incredible success in our internet based programs. I have written “Discipling this Generation for a Digital World” which address the moment in history we find ourselves. By the way this book is free to anyone that will write in, I will have details at the end of the podcast. Because we talk so much about the internet and how to use it effectively for educational purposes it is important that we remind ourselves frequently of the dangers that lurk a few keystrokes away from every search, link or click of an email. I want to warn you. What we will be discussing today and next week is very disturbing. It is difficult to listen to. But if we fail to warn you of the dangers of the internet while promoting its usage for many of the good things we do then we are exposing you and your family to dangerous situations.

Next week we will bring an interview from a friend who has been very involved in working with men who have sexual addictions, most of which developed over inappropriate internet usage.

But first let me start with some statistics about how far this problem is reaching into our lives. Normally I try and stay away from making a statistical argument because I frequently see this method misused. But the statistics concerning internet pornography are so disturbing that it has to cause us to wake up and take notice. We have a problem. This problem is an issue that must be faced worldwide, anywhere the internet has landed. If we are taking score: pornographers verses good faith based usage and sites the pornographers have won 5 goals to our 1.  Here is what I mean:

Many of the statistics are 4-5 years old, undoubtedly they have gotten worse by 2009. These U.S. Internet statistics have been compiled from online sources including: ZDNet Interactive AOL,  Cyber Security Industry Alliance, Computer Security Institute, Vault.com, NFO Worldwide, Gartner Group, Focus on the Family, Websense, Citizen Link and  the FBI.

How do kids use the Internet?

• 2.2 hours a day is the average time kids 13-17 are using the internet.
• 65% of kids who have internet access use the internet more than they watch TV.
• 78% of teens claim they go online alone, without someone else in the room.
• 86% chat in a chatrooms.
• 81% have private e-mail accounts that parents don't have access to or don't know about.
• 67% use Instant Messaging. ( only 21% are monitored by their parents )
• 45% have private web pages like "Facebook" or “Myspace” only 11% allow parental access to those sites.
• 42% keep those sites a "secret" from their parents.
• 12% of all internet use by children 8-17 are for homework or research purposes.
• 72% play internet games at least 5 times a week.
• 52% of children 8-17 claim they have corresponded with strangers online.

 Internet Pornography Industry Statistics?

• 4.2 Million (12% of total websites) are Pornographic.
• 372 Million Pornographic Web Pages
• 68 Million daily pornographic search engine requests. ( 25% of total search engine requests are dealing with pornography)
• 2.5 Billion pornographic e-mails per day. ( 18% if total e-mails )
• 4.5 Average daily pornographic e-mails per Internet user.

 Children Internet Pornographic Statistics?

• 11 Years old, average age of first Internet exposure to pornography.
• 12-17 Year olds, largest consumers of Internet pornography.
• 80% of 15-17 year olds have had multiple hard-core pornographic exposures.
• 90% of 8-16 year olds have stumbled across or viewed porn online. ( most while doing homework )
• 29% of 7-17 year olds would freely give out home addresses.
• 14% of 7-17 year olds who would freely give out e-mail addresses.
• 20% of youth who use the Internet have received sexual solicitation/s.
• 89% of sexual online solicitations of youth are made in chatrooms.
• 47% of children receive pornographic spam on a daily basis. 1 in 5 ( 21% ) open and view these spam e-mails.
• Only 3% of pornographic websites require a credit card or other "adult check" to proceed past the first page of the site, where free content could be viewed.
•   47% of pornographic exposures on the internet by children were inadvertent.
•   17% of pornographic exposures were from misspelled web addresses.
•   19% of visitors to pornographic web sites were under 15 years old.

Do Parents set clear rules about internet use?

• 74% of parents with teens but only 47% of teens claim to have rules about what teens must get permission to do online.
• 74% of parents but only 57% of teens claim to have specific rules about what types of websites teens are allowed to view.
• 59% of parents but only 31% of teens claim to have specific rules about whether teens are allowed to visit chat rooms.
• 52% of parents but only 36% of teens claim to have specific rules about how much time teens are allowed to spend online.
• 51% of parents but only 25% of teens claim to have specific rules about who teens are allowed to e-mail.

Do Parents trust their kids on the Internet?

• 16% of parents and 12% of teens feel that teens can be trusted to follow rules about internet use all the time.
• 71% of Parents and 72% of teens feel that teens can be trusted some of the time.
• 23% of older teens and 11% of younger teens believe teens can be rarely trusted on the internet.
• 52% of parents but only 36% of teens claim to have specific rules about how much time teens are allowed to spend online.
• 51% of parents but only 25% of teens claim to have specific rules about who teens are allowed to e-mail.
• 55% of children ages 12-15 say they do not tell their parents everything they do online.
• 44% of teens claim the have broken parents rules on Internet use.

• 25% or parents claim they have installed and maintain filtering software but only 18 percent of teens believe this has occurred.
• 54% of parents believe that filtering software is as effective as parents setting clear rules and checking up on their teens. 80% of teens think filtering software is more effective.
• 15% of parents using filtering software, vigilantly monitor and regularly update that software.
• 48% of teens feel they have the ability to "get around filtering" software if they wanted to.
• 37% of teens claim they have "gotten around" filtering software at home or at school.
• 63% of teens feel they know more about the filtering software installed on their computer than their parents do.

Adult Internet Pornographic Statistics?

• 40 Million adults who regularly visit Internet Pornography websites.
• 47% of Christians who said pornography is a major problem in their home.
• 10% of Adults admit to having an Internet sexual addiction
• 72% male - 28% female, is the breakdown of visitors to pornography web sites. 
• Women favor chatrooms 2 to 1 more than men
• 1 of 3 visitors to adult web sites are women.
• 9.4 million women access adult web sites each month.

As you can see by these statistics we have a problem and this problem isn’t just something that kids in public schools are dealing with. It is a problem in our churches or schools and especially our homes. If these statistics are exaggerating by 50% as they are oft to do by those with an agenda we still have an enormous problem on our hands. We have an epidemic that we must take precautions for in order to protect our families.

One of the very helpful websites I found in researching this topic is www.safefamilies.org. They have some exceptional resources that will help you with your family’s internet usage. I want to read to you the six rules to Protect Kids on the Internet. These are very important boundaries that every Christian parent needs to implement with their children:

1. Install an Internet filter (see our Internet filtering reviews and recommendations). If the software allows for different settings for each user, we recommend blocking all chat rooms for children under 16. We also strongly recommend blocking file sharing programs like Kazaa, Limewire, and BearShare completely.
2. Place computer in the family room or another open area of your home such that the screen is easily visible when passing by.
3. Publish Family Pledge; post it by all computers. Review it with each child and have them sign it. (Download Family Safety Pledge Sample)
4. Know what your children are doing by:

a.      Reviewing Internet browsing history.  For most Web browsers, you can assess this by holding down Ctrl and pressing “H” at the same time or clicking on the History button on the web that looks like this. Also, most Internet filters have a feature that lets you know what sites have been visited, and cannot be erased by tech-savvy children like History in Web browsers.

b.      Checking the “recent documents” for files transferred or accessed on disks.

c.      Surfing together especially with younger children to learn how they use the web. Get to know the sites they enjoy and how they interact online.

d.      Changing your child's homepage (Instructions for changing homepage).

6.      6. Lead by example. Your children are watching you.  We recommend that adults consider signing a Media Sobriety Covenant for Adults.  Many kids' first pornography exposure is their parents' material. Just as second hand cigarette smoke is harmful to those exposed, your media choices can effect your children. It is your responsibility to keep them from being exposed to pornographic or sexually provocative material. This includes:

                                                    i.     - Television and radio

                                                   ii.     - Internet use

                                                  iii.     - Magazines and books

                                                  iv.     - Videos

                                                   v.     - Cell phone graphics

These 6 steps will help you keep your children from being unnecessarily exposed. But we need to go further in our dialog with our children and students. We have to help them develop the character and skills to resist this temptation in their lives. We must attack this problem in our society by answering the issues in our lives. Be free to talk with our children about sexuality in a pure and transparent way that will enforce godly values in their lives. We live in a digital world that has opened Pandora’s box and has allowed this sexual perversion of pornography to be easily accessed. Yet we cannot just check out of this world as well. The Great Commission compels us to relate and interact, to use the tools and pathways of the internet to spread the Kingdom of God. This means that we must raise up a generation of pure Christian young people to push back the tide of filth with their lives and influence and testimony. To do this we must first address the problem that is pervading our culture. We can’t do this until we address our own lives and then our children’s lives.

My own life has been marred with this evil. I was first exposed to pornography when I was eight years old by my grandmother. When we would go to our grandparents house for the weekend we slept in the guest room. One day, without much to do I began to rummage around the room and found in the closet a stack of Playboy magazines. My childish curiosity took me through several of the magazines where I saw and felt things I didn’t understand. I knew looking at them was very wrong but there was something so powerful about the images. My grandmother walked into the room while I had several issues open. I was terrified but she calmly came over and sat down on the floor with me and proceeded to show me all the good articles and funny comics in the magazine. And of course she said, “there are pictures of pretty girls as well.” Her response made it “Ok” to look at porn and I always had that in the back of my mind. When I began my stint in the US Navy I was exposed to pornography on a wide scale. It was everywhere and like most of the young men I was serving with it was beginning to become a problem. I became a Christian about half way through my time in the Navy and I began the fight with this powerful influence in my life. After the Navy in my years of Bible school I had fought hard against this impulse but I never really overcame it completely because I didn’t recognize it as it really was, an addictive behaviour. When video rentals become popular in the 80’s I found myself battling this every time I went to rent a movie. Then the internet opened up the door to free pornography that I could access secretly. I did not find relief of this problem in my life until I was willing to look at it as an addiction. Today I can honestly say that I am living free from this addiction and have good boundaries and accountability to keep me from this terrible vice. I know firsthand how dangerous this is and how important it is for us to prevent this problem in the life of our kids.

As Christian Educators we must insure that our own lives are free from these assaults upon our lives from the world and the enemy. We have to begin to talk about it within our families, churches and schools. We have to have the courage to and strength to love one another in such a way that we will not condemn those who have stumbled into this trap of the enemy but rather find ways to help them out of it. Or better yet, take the necessary precautions in our homes and community to prevent this problem in the lives of our children and loved ones.

Please email us your comments and thoughts on today’s podcast. Also if you would like us to mail you a free copy of my book, Discipling This Generation for a Digital World, simply send an email to This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it and let us know what type of an educator you are, home schooler, classroom teacher, school administrator, or interested parent. Please let us know how you heard about the podcast and, of course, please include your mailing address. Thank you for listening and thank you for your commitment to discipleship-based Christian education.